Why Won't it Cut Through?
by TheNextCullenVampire
Summary: Random one-shot.Rosalie leaves to hunt, Emmett becomes depressed. TV shows, Wii channels taunt him and he resorts to desperate measures: trying to cut himself?


Why Won't It Cut Through??

Emmett POV

Rosalie's out for the week to hunt again, and now I'm all alone in the house with no one else but Esme and Jasper. I mean, sure, she goes out to hunt without me sometimes but the idea of her being away from me for a week still bugs me.

I decided to do some stuff to take my mind off of her. So I decided to play our new Wii. I turned it on, and decided to shop for new channels. As I scrolled down, I found this new channel for free. Whee!! Free channels!! I'm gonna go check it out!! "The Hunting Channel"

"AAAAAAGH!!" THE HUNTING CHANNEL?! WHAT KIND OF A CHANNEL IS THAT?! AND WHY IS THE WORLD TAUNTING ME ABOUT ROSE BEING AWAY FROM ME BECAUSE OF HUNTING??

Ugh…I guess no Wii for today. I know! I'll just watch TV then. Surely there's _something _worth watching.

I decided to scan though my 200 channels on my new 60 inch Flat Screen TV specially shipped from Korea.

"National Geographic" Hmmm… I've never watched this before…

"…as the lioness continues to stalk its prey, the antelope is oblivious to the hunting of the predator…"

"DANGIT!!" I think the world hates me and is trying to make me miserable. I quickly change the channel to some cheesy kid's show with a purple dinosaur.

"A hunting we will go! A hunting we will go! We're going on a treasure —"

Um…time to switch the channel…(twitches continuously)

"Wow, Pops! I sure want to be a great hunter like you!!"

AWW C'MON!! WHAT IS UP WITH ALL THIS HUNTING STUFF?!

I checked the TV guide and found out that there's a _hunting marathon_ this week!! A HUNTING MARATHON?! WHAT THE HECK?! YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!! WHY IS THE WORLD TAUNTING ME?!

I decided to switch the TV off and went outside for some air. I seriously feel depressed right now…I needed to forget all this hunting stuff!!

As I sat on a big rock by the stream, I started thinking about those emo kids. I only knew so little of them; I mean, what's with those black clothes and mounds of eyeliner? And they're always depressed and did weird things to make them "feel better" What was it they used to do? Oh right!! They cut their wrists with some blades! Hey, maybe if I try being emo and start cutting it would make me feel better too!!

I darted into the house and grabbed a cutter. Letting the blade out, I took a deep breath.

"Rose, this is for you…"

_Snap_. And that was my first cut. Wait, what?? A snap? But isn't it supposed to slit through? I checked my wrist and found out it was unscathed and my cutter broken. What the heck?? Oh right, I'm a vampire. I guess being depressed makes you forget this stuff.

I ran back to the house and grabbed all the blades I could find.

"Emmett, what are you doing with all those?" asked a very confused Esme.

"Yeah, Emmett. I can't help but get all these depressing vibes from you. Wait, are you trying to _cut_ yourself?" asked Jasper desperately trying to hide his snicker.

Then he started laughing. I ignored him and ran back outside.

I took out a razor then I slit my wrist only to have it break again.

Ugh…this is gonna take a while…And so practically the whole day went through with me trying to cut myself with a razor and ending up with broken ones instead of a throbbing wrist.

"AAAAAAGH!! WHY WON'T IT CUT THROUGH?!" I was really losing my depressing state and ending up really mad.

"Emmett dear, I don't understand why you're using these tiny blades that could easily snap when I have these butcher knives in the kitchen." Said Esme.

"Esme, I'm trying the original way these emo kids cut their wrists, but I guess a knife would do better considering my granite skin…" I said trailing off.

I took a nice big sharp knife. This should do the trick! "Here it goes…" I say, holding it over my wrist.

_Snap._

After several attempts with those knives, I gave up.

"DANGIT!! IT STILL WON'T WORK!! BEING A VAMPIRE SERIOUSLY MESSES UP THIS WHOLE EMO THING!!"

"Emmett, what are you doing?" asked a very familiar voice.

"Rose!! You're back!!"

"Yeah, of course I am. It's been a week and I wanted to come home to see you."

"Sweet! Wait, it's been a week? I thought it has just been a day…Hmmm…I guess trying to cut myself took a lot longer than I expected…"

"You tried to cut yourself? You know our skin is like granite and a little blade can't cut through!" asked Rose as she raised an eyebrow at me.

"Yeah, I was so depressed without you." I said sheepily.

"AWWW Emmett that is soo sweet!! I really missed you too!!" gushed Rose as she kissed me sweetly in the lips. I grinned as I kissed her back.

"Come on, let's go. I think I'm gonna have to replace those knives and razors!" I say as I eagerly brought her back.

"Well at least I got her back all to myself now." I think as I smile happily at my beautiful wife.

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**Well that's it! I hope you liked it...oh and PLEASE REVIEW!!**

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